Maybe I’m just oversensitive.

I recently viewed the movie Crooked Beauty. In it, the narrator, Jacks Ashley McNamara, discusses her unique take on why she has what we label as bipolar disorder. McNamara sees herself as being more sensitive to all the injustices in the world than the average person and believes this is why she has the leaps and crashes that she experiences. If the world were a different place, McNamaramight not endure the symptoms of bipolar disorder.

Lately I have been wondering if maybe I too am just overly sensitive. For as long as I can recall, I have wanted justice. At times I have come up with plans to help those with terminal illnesses, then those living in extreme poverty, then non-human animals, and, finally I’ve learned to identify with my  own detested social group: women. But over the years,I have become increasingly despondent. I don’t see how things will really change, not just in my lifetime, but ever.

Take the situation of women, for example. Even among the radical left, there are plenty of menfolk who will accuse us of being “divisive” by bringing up the reality of women’s lives. And fighting for the right to condom-free pornography is seen as in the interest of women. Note the irony that the folks who are waging this war argue for “harm reduction” in the sex trade. So, there is not hope from the left, who should be on our side.

I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one who doesn’t find misogyny, in all its’ genius forms, fucking hysterical. We’ve been watching a movie in a class I’m in. I’m not going to name the movie, but it’s an older film with a painfully obvious misogynist streak. Yet, misogyny is so normal in movies, as in life, that this doesn’t even raise an eyebrow let alone an outcry. Indeed, I wonder if I’m the only one who feels as though I’m dying inside when I see two men share an inside joke about statutory rape.

I wonder if it’s because, for my female peers, the misogyny would overwhelm them and they, too, would die a bit inside.  And yet, the only way things will change is if a whole bunch of women are willing to be women-identified.

For most people, I think, it’s more important to go-along-to-get-along. I used to think more people were like me, willing to think things through and if their stance on an issue didn’t make sense, at least consider changing their minds. But now, I think it’s more important for people to keep their friends, and thus go along with whatever their group, even their group of non-conformers, thinks.

I used to think change was possible. And now, well, I suppose it’s possible but highly improbable.

Is this a new form of depression rearing it’s head, I wonder? Or is it that depressed people really do see the world in a more realistic manner?

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This entry was posted in depression, feminism, Mental Illness, social justice, woman hatred and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Maybe I’m just oversensitive.

  1. landmphoto says:

    No, you’re not alone- and don’t give up! I feel the same way sometimes. There are a lot of like minded people out there, but we are definitely not in the majority. Do you read bitch magazine? http://www.bitchmagazine.org
    You will find a lot of articles about how the media portrays gender roles, and current events and such.

  2. smash says:

    “I wonder if it’s because, for my female peers, the misogyny would overwhelm them and they, too, would die a bit inside.”

    Yes. That is why. Because it’s too painful to open our eyes sometimes.

    Do you know any radical feminists IRL? Sometimes that helps.

    🙂 Nice post.

  3. joy says:

    Echoing smash: Nice post!

    I wonder why this take on ‘mental health’ is still considered so ‘radical’, even among people who consider themselves radical otherwise. People, psychiatrists included, have been writing about it since at least the 1960s. But no, the push is to take the pills and try to be “normal”.

    Ballbuster4Ever has a bunch of posts about it, as do Carolyn Gage and Barbara Ehrenrich (although the latter woman is not a radical feminist, if that makes a difference).

    And of course, do not read “Bitch” magazine if you are a radical (which it seems pretty clear that you are).

    Keep up the good work!

  4. gyrlonaroad says:

    I appreciate the support, everyone.

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